Mahalo.

Hi. Cynthia. Socal. 20. freeyourmind.

(Source: danyes, via takemeforaslowride)

drinklust:

once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”

(Source: drinklust, via takemeforaslowride)

beauxbatons:

when im dead sext me through a ouija board

(via takemeforaslowride)

jortsfan:

american horror story’s ratings are gonna drop this season bc nobody wants to fuck with clowns

(via takemeforaslowride)

comedycentral:

"Spreading democracy in the Middle East is so hard. Maybe we shouldn’t have done it Second Amendment first." -Jon Stewart

assbutt-sherlocked-in-the-tardis:

okay let me teach you little shits a lesson

this

is a moose

and this

is a fucking reindeer / caribou

moose can get to be up to 7 feet tall

reindeer rarely get taller than 5 1/2 feet

moose have big ass heads and big ass antlers and are just fucking big

reindeer are nerds with white beards that pull santa on his sled

Jared Padalecki is a moose

he is not  a reindeer

comedycentral:

"You’re not supposed to eat Americone Dream after sex. You’re supposed to eat it during sex. That’s what the waffle cone pieces are for, they’re ribbed for your pleasure.” -Stephen Colbert

comedycentral:

Click here to watch The Daily Show’s coverage of the downed Malaysian airliner in Ukraine.

“I want you to hold my hand while we go grocery shopping. I want you to play with my hair while we watch tv. I want you to kiss me in the middle of my sentence because you wanted to taste my words. I want you to rub my back as we fall asleep. I want you to sing my favorite song when I look sad. I want you to do these things without having to think about them. Do them because you love me.”

—   (via jezra123)

This is bullshit I did this shit for 3yrs and got dumped for doing all of it so YEP

(via errrinvia)

(Source: jessielou24, via hes-my-fire)