Hi. Cynthia. Socal. 20. freeyourmind.

(Source: danyes, via takemeforaslowride)


once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”

(Source: drinklust, via takemeforaslowride)


when im dead sext me through a ouija board

(via takemeforaslowride)


american horror story’s ratings are gonna drop this season bc nobody wants to fuck with clowns

(via takemeforaslowride)


"Spreading democracy in the Middle East is so hard. Maybe we shouldn’t have done it Second Amendment first." -Jon Stewart


okay let me teach you little shits a lesson


is a moose

and this

is a fucking reindeer / caribou

moose can get to be up to 7 feet tall

reindeer rarely get taller than 5 1/2 feet

moose have big ass heads and big ass antlers and are just fucking big

reindeer are nerds with white beards that pull santa on his sled

Jared Padalecki is a moose

he is not  a reindeer


"You’re not supposed to eat Americone Dream after sex. You’re supposed to eat it during sex. That’s what the waffle cone pieces are for, they’re ribbed for your pleasure.” -Stephen Colbert


Click here to watch The Daily Show’s coverage of the downed Malaysian airliner in Ukraine.

“I want you to hold my hand while we go grocery shopping. I want you to play with my hair while we watch tv. I want you to kiss me in the middle of my sentence because you wanted to taste my words. I want you to rub my back as we fall asleep. I want you to sing my favorite song when I look sad. I want you to do these things without having to think about them. Do them because you love me.”

—   (via jezra123)

This is bullshit I did this shit for 3yrs and got dumped for doing all of it so YEP

(via errrinvia)

(Source: jessielou24, via hes-my-fire)